--- Log opened Fri Apr 08 20:41:49 2022
20:41 Irssi: Starting query in furnet with Azure
20:41 Sierra | hello
20:41 * Sierra pets you
20:42 Azure | Good evening.
20:42 Sierra | how are you?
20:42 Azure | Fine, thank you.
20:43 Sierra | did anything interesting recently?
20:44 Sierra | I am trying to decode GPS signals with an SDR
20:44 Azure | Oh, I just finished a delightful book called Piranisi. It's sort of a very well-mannered eldritch horror.
20:44 Sierra | cool
20:45 Sierra | I should try reading more sci-fi
20:46 Sierra | I started reading "Red Mars" and never got far into it
20:46 Sierra | though I liked it
20:47 Azure | Did you just lose interest or just run out of time?
20:48 Sierra | I think interest
20:48 Sierra | it was years ago
20:48 * Azure nods
20:48 Azure | I felt like that series had interesting THINGS IN IT but wasn't an interesting series.
20:48 Sierra | oh
20:48 Azure | There were lots of little storylets but the way they were bound together wasn't really compelling to me.
20:48 Azure | But I did rather like Arkady Bogdanov.
20:49 Sierra | that name sounds familiar, was it one of the original crewmembers?
20:49 Sierra | *were they
20:49 Azure | Yes. He was the Russian anarchist sent to one of Mars's moons
20:50 * Sierra nods
20:50 Sierra | I remember that
--- Log closed Fri Apr 08 20:55:35 2022
--- Log opened Fri Apr 08 20:57:21 2022
20:57 * Sierra nuzzles you
20:57 * Azure pets over your nose
20:58 * Sierra purrs and licks
20:59 Sierra | yesterday I saw two cats cleaning themselves
20:59 Sierra | it was really cute
21:02 * Azure perks an ear
21:02 Azure | What kind of cats?
21:02 Azure | And were they doing the whole mutual grooming thing?
21:03 Sierra | yes, I'd say an albino one and a brown one
21:03 * Azure nods
21:03 Sierra | a floofy white one
21:08 * Sierra hugs you
21:08 Sierra | how was macro march for you?
21:08 Azure | Fine, thank you.
--- Log closed Fri Apr 08 21:14:35 2022
--- Log opened Fri Apr 15 16:50:51 2022
16:50 Irssi: Starting query in furnet with Azure
16:50 Sierra | hello
16:52 Sierra | hey knock it off
16:52 Azure | Yes?
16:52 Azure | I'm not doing anything.
16:52 Sierra | trying to get agris off of the internet, at least have the courtesy of telling them why
16:52 Azure | I'm not trying to get him off the Internet.
16:52 Azure | I'm trying to geth im to stop stalking me.
16:53 Sierra | in what way are they stalking you?
16:53 Azure | Continuing to try to contact me after being told to LEAVE ME ALONE.
16:53 Azure | They've tried to call me on the phone
16:53 Sierra | I'm honest because I only have their perspective and want to know yours
16:53 Azure | They've sent me mail
16:53 Azure | They told someone they were thinking of dropping in on me.
16:53 Sierra | oh
16:53 Azure | If I were trying to do anything BAD to Agris
16:54 Sierra | ok now i kind of understand
16:54 Azure | Wouldn't I have said something like "Agris is not to be trusted with any sensitive information and will abuse it to keep harassing you if you tell him to leave you alone."
16:54 Azure | NO.
16:54 Sierra | sorry
16:54 Azure | Really, if I were trying to DO SOMETHING BAD to him, don't you think I would have told you to avoid him?
16:54 Azure | When you asked?
16:54 Sierra | yes
16:54 Azure | Seriously.
16:55 Sierra | ok let me tell you something I know
16:55 Sierra | Agris thinks that you aren't in the best state of mind
16:55 Azure | I'm in a perfectly fine state of mind.
16:55 Azure | Except that I have a stalker who won't leave me alone.,
16:55 Sierra | I keep telling them that it's not their business
16:56 Sierra | but they keep saying they are worried about you
16:56 Azure | Then they shoul stop stalking me and I'll be much happier.
16:56 Azure | I am not out to get them. If I were then when they bother people into talking to me, don't you think I'd say...I don't know...more BAD STUFF?
16:57 Azure | ACTUAL bad stuff?
16:57 * Sierra hugs you
16:57 Sierra | I'm sorry to get you this stressed
16:57 Azure | I'd been willing to discount this business as them being overemotional at first, but it's gone long enough I'm done putting up with it.
16:59 Sierra | it's just that they are now in a poor state of mind because of the constant banishing "without being told why"
17:00 Sierra | i'm trying to reason with them so that both of you are in good terms
17:00 Azure | BECAUSE THEY'RE STALKING MER.
17:00 Sierra | I know
17:01 * Sierra hugs you
17:02 * Azure hugs you, shrugging, "If you're wondering that's why I generally try to be friendly but keep you at arm's length, because you keep bothering me about him."
17:02 Azure | Them.
17:02 Sierra | sorry, It won't happen again
17:03 Sierra | can you please answer some things before ending this discussion
17:03 Sierra | ?
17:03 Sierra | Because Agris keeps thinking there's an internet mob after them
17:03 Azure | No, there's no Internet mob after them.
17:04 Sierra | and I don't think it's an act
17:04 Azure | They just keep doing the same things and people keep responding the same way.
17:05 Sierra | can you be more specific?
17:05 Sierra | I see what you mean but I need to find a way to tell them about that
17:05 Azure | When people tell them to stop doing something they double down on it.
17:06 Sierra | ok that seems concise enough
17:06 Sierra | thanks
17:06 * Sierra hugs you
17:06 Sierra | I also want to be your friend
17:06 Azure | They got thrown off Spindizzy /precisely/ because they kept insisting that someone they had harassed had to let them in their areas. Would not drop it, would not change the subject. I stepped back because they were harassing ME so I couldn't be impartial.
17:07 Azure | Nobody on Spindizzy will email them because NOBODY THERE LIKES THEM. Some people /did/
17:07 Azure | But by repeatedly trying to force their way back on they became 'That fake guest who keeps pretending to be someone else and won't stop bothering me.'
17:07 Azure | So nobody's /keeping them away from their friends/, they /have no friends there because they have no concept of boundaries and think non-stop whining is the key to getting their way/
17:08 Sierra | oh ok
17:09 Sierra | I guess the same thing happened here on irc?
17:10 Sierra | thanks for the information
17:10 Azure | I have no idea. I wasn't here for it. I told a chanop that he was bothering me but so long as he behaved and left me alone he could stay.
17:10 Sierra | ok
17:11 Azure | Apparently they didn't behave and when the chanop told him to stop it they wouldn't.
17:11 Sierra | I think that's enough to try and change some things
17:12 Sierra | I won't bother you with this anymore
17:12 Sierra | I hope we can be friends and don't hold this against each other
17:12 * Sierra pets you
17:12 Azure | Oh, well, sure.
17:13 Azure | I won't hold it against you.
17:13 * Azure shrugs and noses into your hand
17:13 * Sierra hugs you
17:13 * Azure chuckles, "Why do you want to be friend with me in particular, anyway?"
17:14 Sierra | It's good to have multiple giant foxes on your side
17:14 Sierra | specially one that knows more mathematics than me
17:15 Sierra | I've read about your shopping mall pool slide
17:15 Sierra | I had dreams about boring places with things that are out of the ordinary
17:16 * Azure chuckles
17:16 Azure | Oh, I forgot you read my blog.
17:17 Sierra | I should write a blog
17:17 Sierra | but I don't like HTML
17:17 Sierra | I have the crazy idea of typesetting the blog articles in LaTeX and hosting the whole website with pdf's that have hyperlinks to other pdf's
17:17 Azure | You can use markdown.
17:18 Azure | OH well.
17:18 Azure | Some people do that.
17:18 Azure | I don't like PDF myself, but at least one online magazine has gone that route.
17:18 Sierra | really?
17:19 Sierra | A friend told me pdf isn't accesible to people like them that need screen readers
17:19 Sierra | I still haven't sent them a test document since I can get the text using the less pager
17:20 Sierra | but only the one's that I've written in LaTeX
17:20 Sierra | I should try markdown
17:20 Sierra | or even try my hand at troff/nroff/groff
17:21 * Sierra hugs you
17:22 Sierra | I've gotta go
17:22 Azure | Oh, fare well.
17:22 Sierra | glad I could talk to you
17:22 Azure | And, PDF is /less/ accessible
17:22 Azure | But it varies on the document.
17:23 Sierra | huh
17:25 Azure | Err, with.
17:25 Azure | Basically
17:25 Azure | PDFs are like postscript.
17:25 Azure | They're instructions on how to lay out images on the page, and some of this consists of 'Put this text here in this font'
17:26 Azure | So if you can select text with a mouse, it's accessible to a screenreader
17:26 Azure | If you can't it's just a 'picture of text'
17:26 Azure | If you see what I mean
17:26 Azure | Even then the text doesn't carry semantic annotations normally
17:26 Sierra | yes
17:26 Azure | But PDF now had the means to wrap it in something akin to an XML document and add information to make it more screenreader friendly
17:26 Azure | I don't know how often this is done,.
17:26 Azure | And I personally have no idea how to go about it.
17:26 Azure | Since I don't like PDF ;)
17:26 Azure | But if you do that'd be something to look into
17:27 Sierra | I'll check it out
17:29 * Azure nods their head
17:29 Sierra | because I've seen documents with text that can't be selected, libgeneis calls it OCR when you can select text
17:30 Sierra | and LaTeX does that by default
17:30 * Azure nods their head
17:30 Sierra | but the issue is that it doesn't distinguish between different types of text
17:30 Azure | I personally don't like PDF because it has a very specific idea of page size and line length
17:30 Azure | And font size
17:30 Azure | And so forth
17:30 Azure | And I need large print to be able to read
17:30 Sierra | oh
17:30 Azure | So if you have, say, a PDF document and blow it up you have to horizongally scroll back and forth
17:31 Azure | That kind of thing
17:31 Sierra | yes
17:31 Azure | It's why I prefer things like HTML
17:31 Azure | Of course
17:31 Azure | GOOD HTML.
17:31 Azure | Not the crap some people write.
17:32 Sierra | of course
17:34 * Azure waves a paw, "Anyway."
17:34 * Sierra waves back, turning the wave to a pet
17:38 * Azure perks and nuzzles into the palm of your hand, closing their eyes
17:38 Sierra | purrr
17:39 * Azure leans against your side, ears relaxing a little.
--- Log closed Fri Apr 15 17:45:46 2022
--- Log opened Fri Apr 15 17:52:58 2022
17:52 Sierra | hey one last thing about the previous topic
17:53 Azure | Yes?
17:53 Sierra | you don't have to answer anything, just as a different perspective
17:53 Sierra | It's not ok as a moderator to stand idly by while Agris gets harassed and bullied by others It's not a realistic expectation to ostracize Agris from the furry fandom or the internet because of whatever your disagreement is What you think is probably not what's really going on, and is a misunderstanding fueled by a lack of
17:53 Sierra | communication which is not going to get better, only escalate and fester by contiuing the radio silence
17:54 Azure | I have not noticed anyone harassing him.
17:54 Azure | And I have no idea where you would get the idea I'm trying to ostracize anyone.
17:54 Azure | Have I tried to get you to avoid him?
17:54 Azure | Or said anything particularly bad about him except JUST NOW?
17:54 Sierra | no
17:54 Azure | Then I can't really be trying to ostracize him, can I/
17:55 Azure | If I wanted him out of my IRC channel I could have just kicked him out right then and there as soon as he showed up.
17:55 Azure | I gave him the opportunity that anyone else would have to hang out so long as he didn't bother me.
17:55 Azure | Seriously, can you honestly tell me you think I'm doing anything to him?
17:56 Sierra | no
17:57 Sierra | it's just that from my point of view which lacks a lot of information there seems to be a wave of shunning and bannings happening to agris all at once
17:58 Azure | If there is, I have nothing to do with it. And I suspect it's just because he gets in trouble and then goes about making the situation worse.
17:58 Sierra | and you don't want to deal with it, right?
17:59 Sierra | if it's on your platform I mean
17:59 Azure | Why would I want to deal with it? I'm not doing anything to him.
17:59 Sierra | by inaction?
18:01 Azure | My 'inaction' consists solely of not going 'Wow, this person is harassing me, I want to throw them out."
18:01 Azure | If he bothers people or breaks the rules then no I'm not going to go out of my way to stop it when the other administrators throw him out.
18:01 Azure | Spindizzy is also not /my/ platform.
18:04 Azure | I literally told him that he was stalking me and specifically told him to leave me alone.
18:04 Sierra | ok
18:04 Azure | If you told someone to leave you alone and they tried to call you out of nowhere, would you appreciate that?
18:04 Azure | Would you like them?
18:04 Sierra | no
18:04 Azure | Would you want them around?
18:04 Sierra | no
18:04 Azure | If you were me, would you have let Agris /sit in your IRC channel/ or would you have kicked him?
18:05 Azure | If someone says to me "Agris did something bad." I'm likely to believe them because Agris keeps harassing me.
18:05 Azure | Especially if it's consistent with their general pattern of actions.
18:05 Azure | Viz, whining nonstop believing this will somehow get their way, refusing to knock things off when told to.
18:06 Azure | I do not have a duty to protect the person stalking me from getting banned for doing the /exact same things/ taht would get someone else banned.
18:07 Sierra | I understand
18:07 Azure | His complaining about 'radio silence' is nonsense. I don't have an obligation to SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE. I /particularly/ don't have an obligation to spend time with people who are harassing me.
18:08 Sierra | just needed more clarification
18:08 Sierra | I'm trying to fix things
18:09 Azure | There's honestly nothing to fix. I'm not doing anything to him.
18:09 Sierra | no, I mean help them fix their emotional situation
18:09 Azure | Ah
18:09 Azure | Well
18:09 Azure | Thank you.
18:09 Azure | Sorry, I'm just a bit angry at this point since I've been putting up with this all year.
18:09 Sierra | they are also my friend
18:10 Azure | I was more inclined to be sympathetic at first but as it's been going on for a while I am not.
18:10 Sierra | oh
18:11 * Sierra hugs you
18:12 * Azure hugs you
18:12 Azure | I meant I was more inclined to be sympathetic to Agris back in January or February. At this point I am not.
18:13 Sierra | I don't personally seen them stalking but I understand that they are very persistent
18:13 Sierra | heck in fact I might seem more of a stalker to them
18:13 Sierra | I keep sending them messages each day
18:14 Azure | There's nothing wrong with that if they actually want to talk to you.
18:14 Sierra | just because they were one of the first friendships where I found an emotional connection
18:14 Azure | If they ask you to dial things back a bit, then of course you should, but if the two of you like each other, hang out all you can.
18:14 Sierra | yeah
18:15 Sierra | I /think/ I know when to shut up and let things rest
18:15 * Azure chuckles
18:15 * Sierra hugs and rubs your fur
18:15 * Azure lifts an ear and perks up their ears, nosing back against your hand
18:16 * Sierra rubs your ears
18:16 Sierra | why do you call yourself a predator of information?
18:16 Azure | Because I want to know everything and I'm good at figuring stuff out.
18:16 Azure | And, my emotions don't really map well onto normal human emotions, really. I'm something a bit wilder.
18:17 Sierra | I only have the former
18:17 Sierra | :P
18:17 Sierra | wanting to know everything
18:17 Azure | it's a good goal.
18:17 Sierra | a feral fox!
18:17 Azure | It's why I studied mathematics, linguistics, and music. It seemed a good start.
18:17 Sierra | lingua latina morta non est
18:18 Sierra | I'm trying to learn latin, refresh my maths with more rigor and learn the piano
18:18 Sierra | besides trying to build a future I want
18:18 Sierra | I'm seeing if I can join some research groups in my local college
18:18 Azure | Ooh, that's pretty good.
18:19 Azure | What research groups?
18:19 Sierra | right now it's one about working with a chinese company to develop NAND memory controllers
18:19 Sierra | It seemed good because I can learn about developing integrated circuits
18:20 Sierra | which helps in me getting some experience that an internship at a large company requires
18:21 Azure | Huh, interesting.
18:21 Sierra | my end goal is to detach myself from money
18:22 Azure | By being rich enough you don't have to care about it, or something else?
18:22 Sierra | have a lynx den in the woods
18:22 Azure | Ahhh.
18:22 Azure | Go off the grid.
18:22 Sierra | with a giant secret underground lab
18:22 Sierra | and a metalworking workshop
18:23 Sierra | stop worrying about money and start worrying about research, knowledge
18:23 Sierra | the stuff I want to worry about
18:24 Sierra | not necesarily isolate myself from "society" or "the matrix" but be able to in case things get hard
18:24 Sierra | and to also help others in their struggle
18:25 * Azure chuckles
18:25 * Azure nods their head
18:25 * Sierra hugs you
18:25 Sierra | but small steps
18:25 * Sierra likes hugs
18:25 Azure | I just like the idea of a giant underground lab.
18:25 * Azure perks and hugs you, curling their tail around your knees.
18:25 Sierra | like in deus ex
18:25 Azure | I've not played it.
18:25 Sierra | find a way to play it, it's really good
18:26 Sierra | political in the good ways
18:26 Sierra | asks about freedom, technology and class
18:27 Sierra | and the silly premise of "what if all the early 2000's conspiracy theories are real in the year 2052?"
18:27 * Azure nods
18:27 Azure | I don't really play many video games, they're a bit too visual for me to be able to get much out of.
18:29 Sierra | hey I now have to go
18:29 Sierra | glad we could talk
18:29 * Sierra rubs your cheeks before going, piece of toast on his maw
18:30 Azure | Good night.
18:30 * Sierra is late
18:30 Sierra | is it night where you are?
18:30 Azure | It's 19:30.
18:30 Sierra | it's 18:30 for me
18:30 Sierra | so yeah kinda night
18:31 * Sierra gives you a tiger blanket
18:31 Sierra | good night
18:31 Azure | Good night.
18:31 Sierra | https://imagenes.milenio.com/ANM-0k8ALGu7RScSxQyGagxJyx8=/936x566/https://www.milenio.com/uploads/media/2020/11/24/origen-de-las-cobijas-de.jpg
18:32 Sierra | It's an image of the pattern in the blanket I gave you, has 2 tigers prowling
18:32 Sierra | nini
18:32 Azure | Well, that's pretty.
--- Log closed Fri Apr 15 18:37:46 2022
--- Log opened Fri Apr 15 19:58:07 2022
19:58 quit | Azure!~azure@40E91683:F23A1A8F:7E3C179:IP: [Quit: ⚡ Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-POP! ⚡]
--- Log closed Fri Apr 15 20:03:46 2022
--- Log opened Sat Apr 30 14:14:00 2022
14:14 Irssi: Starting query in furnet with Azure
14:14 Sierra | hello
14:14 Sierra | how have you been?
14:15 Azure | Fine, thank you.
14:16 * Sierra pets and nuzzles
14:17 * Azure noses into your hand.
14:17 Sierra | no macro for now?
14:17 Azure | Nope.
14:17 Azure | Quite the opposite.
14:18 Sierra | are you micro?
14:18 Sierra | or the size of a real fox?
14:19 Azure | I'm generally either bigger than average or smaller than average.
14:19 Azure | I don't really hang around normal size that often, except, sometimes, as a prelude to being made smaller.
14:22 * Sierra nuzzles
14:22 Sierra | you are still cute, no matter the size
14:22 Sierra | did anything interesting recently?
14:23 Sierra | I'm trying to get back on programming
14:23 Azure | Oh, I've been drawing pictures badly
14:23 Sierra | though my midterm exams are coming up
14:23 * Azure chuckles and pets over your muzzle, "Well, thank you."
14:23 Sierra | really?
14:23 Azure | Yes.
14:23 Sierra | what are you drawing?
14:25 * Sierra scritches your neck
14:26 Azure | Flowers, at the moment.
14:26 Sierra | nice
14:26 Azure | I don't actually know how to draw well, but I'm told if you draw badly for long enough drawing well /just happens/
14:26 * Azure bows their head and wags their tail slowly.
14:26 Sierra | yeah it's practice
14:26 Sierra | though knowing where to improve can help
14:27 Sierra | I have some issues with line quality, shaing and texturing
14:29 * Azure nods
14:29 Azure | I'm just playing with oil pastels for fun, really.
14:29 Sierra | does that reduce its value?
14:32 Sierra | I remember you said something in your blog about a water park-style attraction on a mall
14:33 Sierra | made me remember the attractions in malls I've been in
14:33 Sierra | I don't know why but a typical american mall has this eeriness and liminality to it
14:34 Sierra | like it's inherently anachronistic
14:35 * Azure chuckles
14:35 Azure | No.
14:35 Azure | It doesn't reduce its value, it's just an example of how I'm thinking about it.
14:35 Azure | Not really as something I expect to show people, just as a means of self-expression.
14:35 Azure | AND
14:35 Azure | It kind of is now.
14:35 Sierra | I get it now
14:36 Azure | I think malls were more a phenomenon of the 80s and the ones that hang around now are just sort of leftovers from that time.
14:36 Sierra | they started in the 50's
14:36 Sierra | had a "rebirth" in the 80's
14:36 Sierra | and yeah nowadays they seem leftovers from the era
14:37 Sierra | specially now since a lot of them of them got abandoned
14:37 Sierra | because of their unsustainable model
14:37 Sierra | and the fact they are more parking lot than mall
14:38 * Azure grins
14:38 Azure | That part's a bit odd considering they're natural bus terminals
14:38 Azure | But yes.
14:38 Sierra | but it's just the cleanliness in them, even when abandoned that makes it feel eerie
14:39 Sierra | I went to a mall the other day searching for a camping store, I came around a section with spaces for rent and closed shops
14:39 Sierra | it felt eerie
14:40 Sierra | like I shouldn't be there
14:40 Sierra | the lack of people
14:40 Sierra | compared to the warm feeling of mall memories as a kid
14:41 * Azure chuckles
14:41 Azure | I think that's why I don't get into vaporwave.
14:42 Azure | Because I don't have warm memories of the mall, I have memories of being dragged there and being intensely bored
14:42 Azure | When I'd rather stay home and read.
14:42 Sierra | I also have that
14:42 Sierra | I hate going to malls as "entertainment"
14:43 Sierra | the only times were I had fun in a mall was when I or my parents spent money
14:43 Azure | WELL. The one I did like was when I could go to the various electronic component stores and pick up the books on hobbyist electronics.
14:44 Sierra | I didn't have that experience
14:44 Sierra | were I'm from we don't have much industry
14:45 Sierra | no DIY spirit
14:45 Sierra | what I did was going to a store with a 1920's/1940's aesthetic and read the magazines
14:46 * Azure smiles
14:46 Azure | Well, that sounds kind of nice.
14:47 * Sierra hugs
14:47 Sierra | yeah, those stores are still around
14:48 Sierra | when I was finishing highschool/starting college I went there once a week to check if they had stock on a collection kit
14:48 Sierra | I collected minerals
14:48 Sierra | it came with a nice box
14:49 Sierra | some magazines with info on them and a binder with fact sheets on minerals and gems
14:49 Sierra | though my favourite was an older one which I only had one issue which talked about maths and came with a puzzle
14:50 Azure | What was it called?
14:51 Sierra | I don't remember it
14:51 Sierra | let me find a picture
14:51 * Azure nods
14:52 Sierra | I think it's called "ball pyramid"
14:52 * Azure nods their head
14:53 Sierra | you had prefixed arrangements of balls and you would use them to form a pyramid
14:54 Sierra | and the magazine issue talked about logarithms
14:54 Sierra | and just now in my engineering classes we're talking about decibels
14:55 * Sierra nuzzles
14:59 Sierra | I'm scared
14:59 * Azure nuzzles under your chin, then pads over and hugs you, closing their eyes
14:59 Azure | Scared?
14:59 Sierra | I started checking out what I need if I wanted to be with a friend in the US
15:00 Sierra | then realized that It all depends on me getting a job
15:00 Sierra | which I doubt they would hire a recently graduated inmigrant
15:01 Azure | I forget, where are you from?
15:01 Sierra | mexico
15:01 Azure | You can probably apply for a visa to come up for a vacation.
15:01 Sierra | I have that one
15:01 Sierra | but need a different one to work
15:02 Sierra | and another one to study
15:02 * Azure nods their head.
15:02 Azure | You're at a university in Mexico, now?
15:02 Sierra | yes
15:02 Azure | Well, I hope you can get it.
15:02 Sierra | starting to find ways to study a masters
15:02 Sierra | though in the US it would be a bad idea
15:02 Azure | OH, excellent.
15:02 Azure | Why's that?
15:03 Azure | Just because of the ridiculously high cost?
15:03 Sierra | I can't get US funding/scholarships
15:03 * Azure nods
15:03 Sierra | and the cost is double of what I pay in the "best private university in the country/latin america"
15:03 Sierra | which is a strain on my family
15:04 Sierra | luckily my grades are good enough to say I am not messing around
15:04 * Azure nods their head
15:04 Azure | Used to be the US would try to get the smartest people from all around the world to come here.
15:04 Sierra | and doing stuff like using the labs por personal projects
15:05 Sierra | I think the DoD/DARPA still wants that
15:05 Sierra | but now it's not just being good at something
15:05 Sierra | it's being subservient to the employer
15:06 Sierra | I'm slowly working on making my own mechanical pencil
15:07 Sierra | because the one I have broke
15:07 Azure | Oh? Out of metal or plastic or wood or what?
15:07 Sierra | metal
15:07 * Azure smiles, lifting an ear, 'What are you doing, carving it out of blanks or something?"
15:07 Azure | My father used to be a metalworker so everything I know is from him talking about it.
15:07 Sierra | right now designing it in CAD
15:08 Sierra | my plan is to use a commercial mechanical pencil mechanism but make the case
15:08 Sierra | make it retractable with a bolt-action mechanism
15:09 Sierra | add a lead hardness indicator
15:09 Sierra | and buy some nice erasers
15:09 Sierra | the one I had broke from a plastic thread
15:10 Sierra | it's the second pencil which I had that happen
15:10 * Azure nods their head
15:10 Sierra | I fixed it with superglue
15:10 Sierra | so it still writes
15:10 Sierra | but now I can't retract it
15:10 * Azure nods
15:10 Sierra | I wanted to make that piece out of metal for a long time
15:11 Sierra | but now that I'm looking for a new one I want one with many features from other manufacturers
15:11 Sierra | because the one that looks to be more robust is the rOtring 800 but costs 3 times as my current one
15:11 Sierra | which is still expensive for a mechanical pencil
15:12 * Sierra hugs
15:12 Sierra | I fell in love with metalworking after watching some lathe videos
15:12 Sierra | the feeling of making something out of metal
15:12 Sierra | it brings me joy
15:13 Sierra | but yeah turning the pencil out of aluminium blanks
15:14 Sierra | eventually I want to have my own lathe
15:14 * Azure leans back, "How long have you been doing it?"
15:14 Sierra | 1 semester
15:14 Sierra | stopped due to the pandemic
15:14 Sierra | and now that I'm in another campus with more people the workshop doesn't have much space
15:15 Sierra | and I don't have much time either
15:15 Sierra | specially when our professors ask for multiple research/mathematics/simulation reports in the same week
15:16 Sierra | one of them felt like our final project 2 semesters ago
15:16 Sierra | in terms of workload
15:17 * Sierra hugs
15:17 Sierra | what did your dad make?
15:18 * Azure chuckles and hugs you, petting you with both hands
15:18 Azure | Cars.
15:18 Azure | Car bodies, in particular.
15:18 Sierra | cool
15:18 Azure | He worked for GM, and at first he would build fixtures, so when they came up with a new car body he'd make a specialized frame for each part that could be used to bend and compress it to make sure it had the strength it was supposed to
15:19 Azure | Later on he switched over to building, by hand, the first prototypes of a new car body that they'd then crash into stuff.
15:19 Sierra | interesting
15:20 * Sierra pets you with both hands
15:20 Sierra | how was your college experience?
15:20 Sierra | I keep feeling that I need to overacheive in some way
15:22 Sierra | hearing stories from students who participate in competitive sports, participate in entrepenourship competitions and during the weekend go to the best parties
15:22 * Azure grins and scratches their chin.
15:22 Sierra | while I'm here focusing on coursework, talking to people on the internet and sleeping
15:22 Azure | Oh, it had its ups and downs.
15:23 Azure | I had a little trouble due to being a bit crazy at spots but ultimately things worked out quite well. I spent most of it just pursuing my interests.
15:23 Azure | And ended up working for the university in a couple capacities.
15:23 Sierra | mhm
15:23 Sierra | I might try that next semester
15:24 Azure | Like, I had such an excellent sense of pitch that the music department hired me to try and teach people with problems to do better.
15:24 Sierra | nice
15:25 Sierra | I'm working on a research group to develop an electric car charger, I need to work on it to keep my scholarship
15:26 Sierra | and a professor is starting to promise something for a masters if I help in researching NAND memory controllers
15:26 Sierra | but I am not holding my breath for that one
15:27 Sierra | I just feel mediocre
15:28 Sierra | like I could just disappear and things could get better for the ones around me
15:28 Sierra | these feelings worsen when I am stressed but also come on their own
15:28 * Sierra hugs
15:29 Sierra | and I came here on furnet to stave off the lonelyness I get
15:29 Sierra | sorry for venting
15:29 Sierra | it's just that I'm scared
15:29 * Azure returns
15:30 Azure | It's all right.
15:30 * Azure pads over and pets you softly with both paws.
15:30 Azure | And you don't sound mediocre to me, you sound very driven and curious nad active.
15:30 Sierra | purrrr
15:30 Sierra | thanks
15:33 Sierra | then I think it's toxic productivity
15:34 Sierra | currently drawing a lynx
15:34 Sierra | while watching camping food videos
15:35 Sierra | I want to go camping
15:35 Sierra | though I don't have much friends or stuff for camping
15:35 * Azure grins
15:35 Azure | Have you ever been?
15:36 Sierra | no
15:36 Sierra | the most I've done is go for hikes
15:36 Sierra | but return in the evening
15:36 Sierra | my parents used to take me to a forest the family owned
15:37 Sierra | my grandfather sold the wood on the forest and did something that was like crop rotation but for trees
15:37 Sierra | to not destroy the forest
15:37 Sierra | and provide for the future
15:38 Sierra | we used to go there by car then take a hike somewhere, look at the place and have lunch
15:38 Sierra | then go back home
15:38 Sierra | and on my own I've gone alone to climb a mountain on a well known trail
15:39 Sierra | I couldn't reach the summit due to the heat
15:39 Sierra | it was 10 am and I was covered in sweat
15:39 * Azure nods their head
15:39 Sierra | I still got a nice view from there
15:39 Azure | Well, good.
15:40 Sierra | but no overnight camping
15:40 Sierra | where I cook my food
15:40 Sierra | though I want to someday
15:41 Sierra | be away from civilation for a while
15:42 * Azure nods their head
15:43 Sierra | do you like camping?
15:48 Azure | Sometimes, but I don't really crave it.
15:48 Azure | Also without a car you can't really get very far.
15:48 Sierra | yeah
15:49 Sierra | I don't like cars as the defacto method of transport
15:49 * Azure nods
15:49 Sierra | I miss the times when I fell asleep on the bus on the way back home
15:50 * Azure smiles
15:50 * Sierra smiles
15:51 * Sierra is a sleepy lynx
--- Log closed Sat Apr 30 15:56:01 2022
--- Log opened Sat Apr 30 15:56:09 2022
15:56 Azure | Are you going to curl up?
15:56 Sierra | no
15:56 Sierra | it was just a description
15:56 Sierra | I have a weird sleep schedule
--- Log closed Sat Apr 30 16:02:01 2022
--- Log opened Sat Apr 30 16:12:19 2022
16:12 * Azure nods
16:12 Azure | Me, too.
--- Log closed Sat Apr 30 16:18:01 2022
--- Log opened Sat Apr 30 16:25:30 2022
16:25 * Sierra hugs
16:27 * Azure smiles and hugs you, petting you softly
16:29 * Sierra pets back, nuzzuling and kissing your cheeks
16:30 * Azure perks and laps over your nose, then scritches under your chin with the fingerclaws of one hand
16:35 * Sierra purrs, nibbling your eas
16:35 Sierra | *ears
16:37 * Azure grins and flicks their other ear, reaching up to pet your cheek
16:38 Sierra | purr
16:38 * Sierra pets your cheeks, some light rubbing
16:40 * Azure nuzzles against your fingers, relaxing their ears a bit and rubbing their cheek against your hand, whiskers fanning out
--- Log closed Sat Apr 30 16:46:01 2022
--- Log opened Sat Apr 30 17:03:55 2022
17:03 * Sierra rubs and grabs your cheecks, starting to comb your fur
17:06 * Azure chuckles and holds their head still for the grooming
--- Log closed Sat Apr 30 17:12:01 2022
--- Log opened Sat Apr 30 17:56:34 2022
17:56 Irssi: Starting query in furnet with Azure
17:56 Sierra | hewwo
17:56 * Azure yips
17:56 * Sierra pets
17:57 Sierra | disappeared into the ether
17:57 * Azure lies down and nuzzles against your hand
17:57 Sierra | had a nice lunch there
17:57 Sierra | then reappeared at another place
17:58 Sierra | needing to work
17:58 * Azure nods their head
17:58 * Sierra hugs
17:58 Sierra | does that happen to you?
17:58 Azure | Going to work, now?
17:58 Sierra | eh more like doing homework
17:58 Azure | What, disappearing to do stuff?
17:58 Azure | Sometimes.
17:59 Sierra | into the ether
18:01 Azure | Now and again
18:01 * Sierra bleps
18:01 * Azure yawns and rubs their eyes
18:01 * Sierra yawns as a reflex
18:01 Sierra | you are a cute fox
18:02 * Sierra pets again
18:02 Sierra | *pet pet pet*
18:02 * Azure chuckles and bows their head at the petting, wagging their tail quickly
18:02 Azure | Am I?
18:02 Azure | Well, thank you.
18:02 Sierra | smort foxxo
18:03 Sierra | that outshines me in maths
18:03 Sierra | and music
18:03 Sierra | I don't know how to play the piano
18:03 Azure | I don't know if music is me being SMART so much as it is me being /weird/
18:03 Azure | I suspect I just perceive music differently than a lot of other people.
18:04 Sierra | you hear all music in another key?
18:04 Azure | Nono.
18:05 Azure | Just…
18:05 Azure | Perhaps more intensely, in more detail. I wake up from dreams with songs from the dreams in my head.
18:05 Sierra | oh
18:06 Sierra | so maths was just a curiosity?
18:10 Azure | I actually studied mathematics, that actually is me being smart :)
18:12 Sierra | uwu
18:12 Sierra | smort foxxo
18:12 * Azure chuckles and pets you
18:13 * Sierra purrs, splaying his ears and closing his eyes
--- Log closed Sat Apr 30 18:19:06 2022
--- Log opened Sat Apr 30 18:23:35 2022
18:23 Sierra | purr
18:23 * Azure leans against you, closing their eyes
18:23 * Sierra paws at you
18:24 * Azure perks and noses into one of your paws
--- Log closed Sat Apr 30 18:30:06 2022
--- Log opened Sat Apr 30 21:49:45 2022
21:49 * Sierra licks
21:50 * Azure yips and shakes out, then licks back
21:50 Sierra | uwu
21:50 Sierra | was busy
21:50 Azure | Hi, there.
21:50 Azure | Oh, that's fine.
21:51 Sierra | programming in MATLAB a program that calculated some performance factors in an fibre optic network
21:51 Sierra | was tedious
21:52 * Azure nods
21:52 Azure | The one thing I dislike about the Julia programming language is that its designers used a lot of MATLAB ;)
21:52 Sierra | oh
--- Log closed Sat Apr 30 21:56:54 2022
--- Log opened Sat Apr 30 21:57:31 2022
21:57 Irssi: Starting query in furnet with Azure
21:57 Sierra |
21:57 * Sierra buffers back into existence
21:57 Sierra | hewwo
21:57 Sierra | ran out of power
21:58 Azure | Welcome back
22:01 * Sierra meows
22:02 * Azure ♪ awrOOOooos? ♪
22:02 Sierra | rawr
22:06 * Sierra pets
22:07 Sierra | I'm practicing my C programming with the ANSI C book
22:07 * Azure lies down under your hand, rubbing their head up against it.
22:07 Azure | Oh?
22:09 Sierra | I'm doing the exerc
22:09 Sierra | *exercises in the textbook
22:09 * Azure nods their head
22:10 Sierra | because I'm cannot say I know how to program
22:10 Azure | You can somewhat, if you know Matlab.
22:11 Azure | It's a perfectly legitimate even if special purpose programming language.
22:11 Sierra | yeah
22:12 Sierra | but I prefer C
22:12 Sierra | I like the idea of simple programs joined together to make complex stuff
22:13 * Azure nods their head
22:13 * Sierra nuzzles
22:14 * Azure pets over your muzzle.
22:15 Sierra | purr
22:17 * Sierra floofs
22:18 * Azure yips and fluffs up, then nuzzles into your paw
--- Log closed Sat Apr 30 22:48:45 2022
--- Log opened Sun May 01 02:41:29 2022
02:41 Irssi: Starting query in furnet with Azure
02:41 Sierra | I thought you spiraled already
02:41 * Sierra snugs beside you
02:42 Azure | I got distracted from spiraling.
02:42 * Azure leans back against you.
02:43 Sierra | distracted by what?
02:43 Sierra | me?
02:44 Azure | Oh, no.
02:44 Azure | You were idle :)
02:45 * Sierra hugs you
02:45 Azure | Just talking to a couple people and having weird conversations with one person who was making me smaller and also telling me their weird headcanon theories about anime at once.
02:45 * Azure pets you
02:46 * Sierra counterpets
02:46 * Azure yawns and noses against your hand.
02:46 Sierra | as in RP smaller or emotionally small?
02:46 Azure | RP Smaller.
02:46 Sierra | oh
02:47 Azure | THOUGH I do think macro/micro stuff is emotionally quite affecting, too, in a pleasant way.
02:47 Sierra | oh nice
02:47 Azure | Getting caught by your now-giant friend can be a pretty nice feeling.
02:48 Sierra | uwu
02:50 Azure | I'm a bit weird.
02:52 Sierra | aren't we all here?
02:53 Azure | I guess.
02:54 Sierra | I always got treated like the weird one in school and by my family
02:54 * Azure nods their head.
02:54 Sierra | because I liked technical stuff and spoke my mind about my opinions
02:55 Azure | Which opinions did your family find particularly strange?
02:55 Sierra | I didn't want to have kids, I was a picky eater
02:55 Sierra | saying that spanking your kids was bad
02:56 Sierra | or what usually got me into hour long discussions, LGBT rights
02:56 Sierra | my dad saying why did I defend them if I am not one of them
02:57 Sierra | dismissing them as degenerated
02:57 Sierra | but now I'm starting to feel confused
02:57 Azure | Oh?
02:57 Azure | Confused about what?
02:57 Sierra | my sexuality
02:58 Azure | Well.
02:58 Azure | I may be a crazy, old fox.
02:58 Azure | But I can probably give you one piece of advice that's useful.
02:58 Sierra | though that would make my dad want to kick me out and disown me
02:59 Sierra | specially since I got threatened to get kicked out of the house because I said I was atheist
02:59 Sierra | sorry continue
02:59 Azure | Well, that's not good.
02:59 Azure | My parents threatened that to me once but didn't and I knew they wouldn't.
02:59 Azure | I know other parents are worse.
02:59 Azure | SO.
03:00 Sierra | well I'm not sure with my dad, he gets emotional sometimes and others he takes action
03:00 Azure | Your sexuality is not an important fact about you. It's like what flavors of ice cream you like. You MAY mostly prefer the opposite sex. You may exclusively prefer the opposite sex. You might like both. For a lot of people it's difficult to know what they actually like because there's so much social pressure.
03:00 Sierra | oh
03:00 Azure | People who have been attracted to a woman might think they're ENTIRELY STRAIGHT because being gay is this WHOLE IDENTITY
03:01 Azure | I've known people who discovered they were gay, then found themselves attracted to a woman and then had this big crisis because WAS BEING GAY JUST A LIE?
03:01 Azure | Obviously it's not, you might just happen to be attracted to a preponderance of people who are men or women or whatever.
03:01 * Azure waves a paw
03:02 Azure | But practically you can at least explore your feelings online without much risk of your parents finding out.
03:02 Sierra | yeah, also IRL for now
03:02 Sierra | until
03:02 Azure | Well, yes, while you're at school.
03:02 Sierra | I go back with them for the holidays
03:02 Azure | And eventually if you move out.
03:02 * Azure nods
03:03 Azure | If you do decide you like guys, or even just a small number of guys, you can always wait until you're moved out and secure to come out.
03:03 Sierra | I think I'm sexually straight, I don't like the markers of masculinity
03:03 Sierra | or dicks for that matter
03:03 Sierra | including mine
03:03 Sierra | but emotionally I want to live with and hug agris
03:04 Sierra | might just be that I felt a genuine friendship with them
03:04 Azure | Well! You can hug people without wanting to have sex with them.
03:04 Azure | I'm asexual, I don't want to have sex with anyone.
03:04 Sierra | yes
03:04 Azure | But I'll happily hug people I like.
03:04 * Sierra hugs
03:04 Sierra | maybe
03:04 * Azure pets you
03:05 Sierra | just the naughty RP we had might muddy the waters a bit
03:05 * Azure chuckles
03:05 Azure | Well, there's nothing really lost by experimenting.
03:05 Sierra | though I know how to separate the fursona from the person
03:05 Sierra | and I want to stop feeling lonely
03:05 Sierra | like everyone just tolerates me
03:06 * Azure nods
03:06 Sierra | but doesn't allow me into their lives and viceversa
03:06 Sierra | its just convenient for both of us to be friends
03:06 * Sierra hugs
03:07 * Azure perks, hugging you and petting your back
03:07 Sierra | I think its just me being needy
03:07 Azure | I mean, there's nothing WRONG with wanting to be loved and appreciated and understood.
03:09 Sierra | I feel there's a but afterwards
03:10 Azure | Oh, no.
03:10 Azure | No but.
03:10 Sierra | okk
03:10 Azure | You might be 'needy' but it's a legitimate NEED. People want to feel close to others.
03:12 * Azure yawns and rubs their eyes
03:13 * Sierra hugs and nuzzles
03:13 * Sierra yawns
03:13 Azure | Are you going to sleep?
03:13 Sierra | maybe
03:13 Sierra | it's getting very late for me
03:13 * Azure nods
03:14 Sierra | though I need to plan if I can go another week without buying more groceries
03:14 Sierra | I'm going to have exams so most of the time I'll be eating cafeteria food
03:15 * Azure nods
03:15 Azure | Well, good night for now
03:15 Sierra | good night
03:16 quit | Azure!~azure@40E91683:F23A1A8F:7E3C179:IP: [Quit: ⚡ Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-POP! ⚡]
03:16 * Sierra gives you his tiger blanket
--- Log closed Sun May 01 03:16:07 2022
--- Log opened Tue May 03 15:45:18 2022
15:45 Irssi: Starting query in furnet with Azure
15:45 Sierra | hello
15:45 * Sierra pets
15:46 Sierra | the school library smells of student tears
15:47 Sierra | no talk today, only affection
15:47 * Sierra puts cutesy cat eyes
15:49 * Azure perks and hugs you, wrapping you in their tail
15:53 * Sierra hugs back, unable to wrap you in his tail as its short
15:55 * Azure chuckles and pets you carefully
15:55 * Sierra braces for pets, purring along happily
15:58 * Sierra gets sleepy and blurry
--- Log closed Tue May 03 16:05:54 2022
--- Log opened Tue May 03 16:06:48 2022
16:06 Irssi: Starting query in furnet with Azure
16:06 Sierra |
16:07 * Sierra scanlines back into existence
16:07 * Sierra noses for a blue fox
16:07 Azure | Welcome.
16:07 * Sierra found it
16:07 * Sierra boops the fox
16:07 * Azure noses into your hand
16:08 * Sierra pets the nose, turning into petting the fox
16:08 * Azure lies down in front of you.
16:09 * Sierra snugs besides you
16:10 * Sierra combs your fur
16:13 * Azure scoots up against your side and rests their chin on their hands, tail curling around one of your legs.
16:15 * Sierra slides around, getting next to your belly and combing the soft fur there
16:17 * Azure rolls onto their back, resting a hand on yours and stretching out as they wag their tail
16:17 * Sierra rubs your soft belly floof using both of his paws
16:19 Azure | AFK for a moment.
--- Log closed Tue May 03 16:24:26 2022
--- Log opened Tue May 03 17:32:21 2022
17:32 * Sierra hugs
17:35 * Azure pts you.
17:37 * Sierra nuzzles
17:37 * Azure rubs under your chin with two fingers.
17:38 Sierra | purr
--- Log closed Tue May 03 17:43:26 2022
--- Log opened Tue May 03 18:04:47 2022
18:04 * Sierra hugs
18:05 * Azure hugs you, a bit sleepily.
18:05 Sierra | had any interesting dreams
18:05 Azure | Oh, well, a few things off and on, but nothing really appropriate for sharing.
18:06 Sierra | hmm
18:06 Sierra | I forgot many of mine
18:07 Azure | Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hE3KjKg69ZA
18:07 Sierra | hey I've seen that one
18:08 Sierra | nevermind I fell asleep while watching it
18:08 Sierra | but it's really interesting
18:11 * Sierra hugs
18:11 * Azure chuckles
--- Log closed Tue May 03 18:17:26 2022
--- Log opened Tue May 03 19:10:57 2022
19:10 * Sierra nuzzles
19:12 Sierra | I'm having problems with the probability sections of my courses
19:12 * Sierra hugs
19:12 Sierra | it all quickly loses meaning to me
19:12 * Azure lifts an ear
19:12 Azure | Oh?
19:13 * Azure pets you carefully
19:13 * Sierra is a cute lynx
19:14 Sierra | do you know a good textbook to learn probability?
19:15 Azure | HMmmmm.
19:15 Sierra | I'm up to the point to understand that several statistical measures are defined by integrals
19:15 Azure | Let me see if I have something worthwhile....
19:17 Azure | https://electric.fox.blue/dist/Jaynes.-.Probability.theory%2C.the.logic.of.science.%281996%29%28589s%29.djvu
19:17 Azure | Trying to keep to something relatively recent so it won't be confusing when the symbols and terminology are completely different...
19:17 Sierra | that happens?
19:18 Azure | https://electric.fox.blue/dist/A%20Course%20In%20Probability%20Theory%20-%20Chung%20K%20L.djvu is also relatively recent.
19:18 Azure | Sometimes.
19:18 Azure | If you grab a probability book from the 1940s or 1950s the concepts are similar but how they're described is often different.
19:18 Sierra | hmm
19:19 Azure | Though it happens overall in other mathematics
19:19 Sierra | what about statistics?
19:19 Azure | Like if you read Newton's original book on calculus it's all about Fluxions and Fluons.
19:19 Azure | Also just how things are organized can change over times.
19:19 Azure | Err, over time.
19:20 Azure | I don't know, I've never looked at old statistics books.
19:20 Sierra | et in linuga latina
19:20 Sierra | thanks!
19:20 * Sierra hugs and nuzzles
19:20 Sierra | ^.^
19:21 Sierra | (cute emoticon face)
19:21 * Azure hugs you
19:22 Azure | I have read math books IN Latin before.
19:22 Azure | Like Galileo's Starry Messenger.
19:22 Azure | Gauss also wrote his doctoral thesis in Latin.
19:25 Sierra | I didn't know that
19:25 Sierra | I'm also starting to learn latin
19:25 Sierra | I just want a way to read linuga latina per se illustrata and learn the pronunciation
19:26 Azure | Quo modo tibi placet?
19:26 Azure | Oh. Pronunciation isn't that hard.
19:27 Azure | The most interesting thing is that there's evidence that '-um' was actually pronounced as a nasalized vowel.
19:27 Sierra | Cuál modo tibi placet?
19:27 Sierra | I know spanish and a bit of french
19:27 Azure | 'How does it please you?'
19:27 Azure | "How do you like it?"
19:27 Azure | In Latin.
19:27 Sierra | sounds like it
19:27 Sierra | I could approximate a bit
19:28 Azure | I took French when I was a kit but not very much.
19:28 Azure | I hated the way the teacher went about things.
--- Log closed Tue May 03 19:34:26 2022
--- Log opened Tue May 03 19:40:49 2022
19:40 * Sierra hugs
--- Log closed Tue May 03 19:46:26 2022
--- Log opened Tue May 03 19:49:14 2022
19:49 Sierra | thanks
19:49 Azure | Aber natürlich.
19:49 Sierra | nein spoychen deuchen
19:49 Sierra | :P
19:50 Azure | Are you using some non-Unicode character encoding?
19:50 Sierra | why?
19:50 Sierra | no
19:50 Sierra | I use unicode
19:50 Azure | Oh, I just wondered.
19:55 * Sierra nibbles your ears
--- Log closed Tue May 03 20:01:26 2022
--- Log opened Tue May 03 20:01:28 2022
20:01 * Azure yips and splays their ears, nosing you
20:01 * Sierra splays his ears
--- Log closed Tue May 03 20:07:26 2022
--- Log opened Tue May 03 21:05:34 2022
21:05 Irssi: Starting query in furnet with Azure
21:05 Sierra |
21:05 * Sierra hugs
21:07 * Azure puts an arm around you.
--- Log closed Tue May 03 21:12:44 2022
--- Log opened Tue May 03 21:23:39 2022
21:23 * Sierra nuzzles your arm, feeling your soft floof
--- Log closed Tue May 03 21:28:44 2022
--- Log opened Tue May 03 21:55:35 2022
21:55 * Sierra hugs
--- Log closed Tue May 03 22:00:44 2022
--- Log opened Tue May 03 22:03:23 2022
22:03 * Azure pets from your ears down toward your tail
--- Log closed Tue May 03 22:08:44 2022
--- Log opened Wed May 04 01:47:03 2022
01:47 Sierra | nini
01:47 * Sierra spirals
01:51 Azure | Good night
01:54 quit | Azure!~azure@40E91683:F23A1A8F:7E3C179:IP: [Quit: ⚡ Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-POP! ⚡]
--- Log closed Wed May 04 01:55:20 2022
--- Log opened Fri May 06 21:35:37 2022
21:35 Irssi: Starting query in furnet with Azure
21:35 Sierra | hello
21:35 * Sierra pets
21:38 Sierra | how are you?
21:39 Azure | Oh, I'm fine, thank you.
21:39 Sierra | good, I'm also fine
21:42 Sierra | caused any lightning storms recently?
21:42 Azure | Nope.
21:42 Azure | Works better in the summer.
21:43 Sierra | planning to grow?
21:43 Azure | Not really.
21:43 * Sierra nuzzles
21:44 Sierra | so I still have time to nuzzle you
21:44 Sierra | or for me to grow
21:45 * Azure chuckles and pets over your muzzle, "Are you planning to?"
21:47 Sierra | maybe
21:47 * Azure nods their head.
21:48 Sierra | I need to find some radioactive gummy vitamins
21:48 * Azure nods their head
21:48 Azure | Or miracle gro.
21:48 Sierra | and a greenhouse to sneak to and sleep under the grow light
21:48 * Azure chuckles
21:49 Sierra | and wake up as a lynx that has outgrown the greenhouse
21:49 * Azure nods their head
--- Log closed Fri May 06 21:54:51 2022
--- Log opened Fri May 06 21:57:28 2022
21:57 Sierra | how do you usually grow?
21:58 Azure | By will and intellectual endeavor.
22:00 Sierra | sounds really inspiring
22:00 Sierra | you don't wish for lighter loads but for wider shoulders?
22:01 Azure | Soemthing like that.
22:02 Azure | Though I actually prefer to spend most of my time quite small.
--- Log closed Fri May 06 22:07:51 2022
--- Log opened Sat May 07 00:01:37 2022
00:01 quit | Azure!~azure@40E91683:F23A1A8F:7E3C179:IP: [Quit: ⚡ Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-POP! ⚡]
--- Log closed Sat May 07 00:06:51 2022
--- Log opened Fri May 13 20:29:06 2022
20:29 Irssi: Starting query in furnet with Azure
20:29 Sierra | hello
20:29 * Sierra pets you
20:29 Sierra | how have you been?
--- Log closed Fri May 13 20:34:44 2022
--- Log opened Fri May 13 20:35:16 2022
20:35 Azure | Oh, fine thank you.
20:35 * Azure noses your hand
20:35 Sierra | purr
20:35 * Sierra nuzzles you and hugs
20:36 * Azure chuckles and pets over your muzzle
20:41 Sierra | meow
20:43 Sierra | I'm fine for the time being
20:46 Azure | Well, good.
20:49 * Sierra hugs, a bit sad
20:49 Azure | Hmmm?
20:50 * Azure pets you carefully.
20:50 Sierra | It's just that a short while ago I felt extremely lonely and sad
20:50 Azure | Why's that?
20:52 Sierra | I didn't know why, just feeling lonely, not having someone that I trust with the "whole" me
20:52 * Azure nods and pets you with both paws
20:52 Sierra | being vulnerable to the point that something petty made me want to cry
20:53 * Azure lifts an ear, "What's that?"
20:53 Sierra | just wanting to be funny with some online friends and it backfiring
20:53 * Sierra hugs
20:53 * Azure nods and pets you carefully
20:54 Sierra | I trust you enough from what I've heard from you that you could undestand what I felt afterwards
20:55 Sierra | I considered suicide again
20:55 Azure | How badly did it go?
20:55 Sierra | planning when to do it
20:56 Azure | I mean, how did things 'backfire' that you're considering that?
20:56 Sierra | after reading a website called lost all hope changed my perception of suicide
20:57 Sierra | It was nothing inconsequential, I would've shrugged it off if I didn't feel lonely and sad before
20:58 Sierra | as if it was impossible to not feel it
20:58 * Azure nods their head
20:59 Sierra | the point is that now I consider suicide like a chore, needing to prepare stuff before attempting it
20:59 Sierra | will, stuff, etc.
20:59 Sierra | and now I'm just procrastinating it
21:00 Azure | And why is that?
21:00 * Sierra procrastinates on a lot of stuff on the short term
21:00 Sierra | after a while the feelings subside
21:01 Sierra | it's like episodes that appeared once a week before I met people on furnet
21:01 Sierra | that came more often and in greater intensity with stress
21:02 * Sierra hugs
--- Log closed Fri May 13 21:08:44 2022
--- Log opened Fri May 13 21:09:53 2022
21:09 * Azure nods, "Well, you should try journaling how you feel once or twice a day, if nothing else when you feel like you're miserable all the time you can look back and see whether, in fact, you actually are miserable all the time."
21:10 Sierra | sounds useful
--- Log closed Fri May 13 21:16:44 2022
--- Log opened Fri May 13 21:16:46 2022
21:16 * Sierra hugs
21:16 * Azure hugs you
21:17 Sierra | I've heard you had an experience with suicide, can I ask about it?
21:20 Azure | It was something called a mixed state which is difficult to describe to people who have never had one, but you can imagine all your emotions turned on to full blast in the least pleasant way.
21:20 Azure | It was more a matter of fearing a loss of self control and gnawing my foot off to get out of a trap than wanting to die.
21:20 Sierra | oh
21:21 * Sierra hugs
21:21 Sierra | did you get better?
21:21 Azure | Oh, yes.
21:22 Azure | Smart animals can often find better ways to get out of traps, then lay in wait for the one who set them.
21:25 * Sierra hugs and rubs your cheeks
21:25 Sierra | thank you for being understanding
21:27 * Azure hugs you softly
21:32 Sierra | you're now pocket-sized?
21:32 Azure | Oh, well, generally, though I don't have to be if you'd prefer otherwise.
21:33 * Sierra nuzzles the smol Azure
21:37 * Azure chuckles and pets over your muzzle with both hands
21:38 * Sierra puts you in his pocket, next to his phone, earphones, lighter, and lockpick pouch
21:38 * Azure chuckles and curls up there.
21:43 * Sierra imagines your paws and head poke out of the pocket, grabbing the edge
21:43 * Azure chuckles and settles back against you, leaning against your chest through your shirt.
21:44 Sierra | eep!
21:44 Sierra | that tickles!
21:46 * Sierra grabs you through his shirt
21:46 * Azure hugs one of your fingers, nuzzling into your hand
21:46 Sierra | don't get close to my neck
21:47 Azure | All right
21:47 Sierra | I feel weird when tiny critters climb there
21:49 * Azure nods, "Ticklish or just weird?"
21:49 Sierra | weird, really
21:51 * Azure nods their head and settles down
21:52 * Sierra has a parakeet that likes climbing into my shoulder
21:53 Azure | Oh? How long have you had that?
21:54 Sierra | for 2 years, my mom has it
21:55 * Azure nods their head
21:56 Sierra | it's cute
21:59 * Azure nods
22:00 * Sierra pets the tiny azure
22:00 Sierra | hold on can you grow at will?
--- Log closed Fri May 13 22:05:44 2022
--- Log opened Fri May 13 22:06:52 2022
22:06 Azure | Well, sometimes.
--- Log closed Fri May 13 22:12:44 2022
--- Log opened Fri May 13 22:46:37 2022
22:46 * Sierra hugs
22:46 * Azure pets you.
22:48 Sierra | hey I've heard that furnet doesn't have their servers well mantained
22:48 Sierra | and I want to still talk to you
22:48 Sierra | you're now a friend to me
22:48 Azure | Their servers seem fine to me.
22:49 Sierra | huh
22:49 Azure | I don't know the last time the network has gone down.
22:49 Sierra | might be my setup then
22:49 Sierra | the point is that I want to set up some alternative communication methods
22:49 Sierra | just in case
22:49 Azure | Oh, maybe later.
22:50 Sierra | ok, I wasn't asking for your contact info
22:50 Sierra | would've just posted my email
22:50 * Sierra hugs
22:50 Azure | Oh, surely.
22:50 Azure | You can give me your email if you like.
22:51 Sierra | email: lynxinthesierra@riseup.net
22:51 Sierra | xmpp: sierra@nuegia.net
22:51 Azure | All right.
22:51 Sierra | I like how creative I got with the email
22:52 Sierra | "A lynx in the mountains"
22:52 Azure | It's not bad.
22:53 Sierra | I'm still waiting for an opportunity to get some hardware to self host my stuff
22:53 Sierra | though first I need a reliable living space
22:53 * Azure nods their head
22:54 Azure | Do you stay in a dorm, now?
22:54 Azure | Well, I guess you'd go home during the summer?
22:54 Sierra | yes, yes if I don't sign on for summer classes
22:54 * Azure nods
22:54 Sierra | I once had a minecraft server on my previous laptop
22:55 Sierra | played with some irl friends
22:55 Sierra | fun times, even if it was at the start of the pandemic
22:55 Sierra | now that laptop does something more useful, being the main computer my mom
22:56 Sierra | linux mint really made that laptop fast
22:56 * Sierra hugs
22:56 Sierra | If I connected you to a computer would you store some data for me?
22:57 Sierra | as a predator of information
22:58 Azure | Oh, possibly. Or process it.
23:00 Sierra | A. Z. U. R. E. - FOX-style computation accelerator
23:00 Sierra | :P
23:01 Azure | Fox-based technology IS pretty good technology.
23:02 * Sierra hugs
23:03 Sierra | no master control program needed
23:05 * Azure nestles against you, bowing their head
23:08 * Sierra pets your head
23:09 Sierra | (guessing full-size fox now)
23:10 * Azure nuzzles into your hand
23:10 Sierra | *pet pet pet*
23:10 Sierra | I had a cat lick my paw, it tickled
23:11 Azure | My cat licks me all the time.
23:16 Sierra | that's cute
23:16 Sierra | this one was one that hangs around a part of my campus
23:16 * Azure nods their head
23:16 Sierra | might be that it kept its eyes closed and wanted to lick the fur instead of my paw
--- Log closed Fri May 13 23:22:44 2022
--- Log opened Sat May 14 00:22:29 2022
00:22 * Sierra covers you in a soft blanket as you sleep nestled against me
00:22 * Azure smiles
00:22 Azure | Well, thank you.
00:25 Sierra | your welcome sleepyfox
--- Log closed Sat May 14 00:30:45 2022
--- Log opened Sat May 14 01:14:02 2022
01:14 * Sierra spirals around you
01:14 Sierra | nini
--- Log closed Sat May 14 01:14:06 2022