09 Mar 2022 05:46 with truewolves%wolf.furnet.org@biboumi.nuegia.net
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[05:46:18]
Alright.
I will soon be at work, though, so expect delays.
15 Mar 2022 18:37 with truewolves%wolf.furnet.org@biboumi.nuegia.net
Tom
[18:37:11]
hello
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:16:53]
Hia.
Tom
[19:17:01]
hi
i have some questions for you
why did you become superop on #affection?
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:18:01]
Honestly? I didn't even notice until about 2~3 days ago.
Tom
[19:18:08]
ok
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:18:30]
I have a guess, and it's that I was helping Azure figure out how to handle the channel rules since he inherited the channel and he's been unsure about that going forward.
Tom
[19:19:00]
do you still feel like everything you did I deserved?
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:19:52]
I stated all of my reasons why, and considering you regularly attacked me the entire time, your behavior was quite self-evident. The logs are a clear record of all of our conversations.
Tom
[19:20:25]
Can you please share with me the allegations that made made against me that you acted upon
and who made them
I didn't ask you why, I just asked if you still feel I deserved every bit
*Can you please share with me the allegations that were made against me that you acted upon and who made them <- fixed grammer
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:22:07]
1: Multiple users (more than 2) stated you're stalking/harassing them. I have repeatedly said I will not give away someone's information out of their safety. For the same reason you wouldn't want reprisal done to you for seeking help.
2: You repeatedly misrepresented arguments you disagreed with to make them easier to attack, even when asked to stop doing this. You continued to do this multiple times in our private conversations, which has also been logged.
No more or less than the two things above.
Tom
[19:23:38]
well, it's fairly standard practice that if a authority figure is going to take action against someone, they the allegations are shared with them so that they can contest or defend themself against them
I've been victum of a vicious year-long attack of defamation
people harassing me and stalking me across multiple sites to get me ostracized from them
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:24:17]
Not in all cases, such as those where the safety of the individual can not be garenteed. Such as with restricted reporting in the military for sexual assault, or witness protection cases.
Tom
[19:24:19]
people making bogus claims against me
my last question to you
> It wouldn't be the first time I've testified in a court proceeding. You?
> For record, if you want any further proof I live by what I say, I don't exactly hide who I am in real life either. And you haven't provided me with any evidence on *any* front that you're not at fault for *either* action.
you told me this before
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:25:08]
You asked previously if I would go to court with the evidence I have, and I would. It wouldn't be my first court case.
Tom
[19:25:19]
Can you please share with me your name, place of domocile, and mailing address
this is for court purposes
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:26:06]
I will share my name and city, nothing more. Drake Higgins of Albuquerque, New Mexico. That is enough to pull me up on public record and for legal identification without going as far as to be easily able to impersonate me.
Tom
[19:26:11]
it's very clear to me this harassment isn't going to stop, and if what your saying is true there are multiple people in it
you claim to know sometihng
thankyou
*in on it
and since you said this isn't your first time dealing with this, do you have any advice for me?
also, i take it your going to continue to ban me
is that correct?
more than 2 users? your fully sure about that?
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:29:31]
I will uphold the ban until there is an appeal addressing improved behavior on both issues.
Tom
[19:30:10]
both issues being what exactly?
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:30:26]
I'm not repeating myself for a question that has literally been answered in the last 10 minutes.
Tom
[19:30:50]
oh the numbered thing
well, on number 2 i can tell you is probably a miscommunication
number 1 is a defamatory claim that is untrue
do you have any advice for me, and your absolutely sure than more than 2 people are behind this
?
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:34:21]
As for advice: I'd suggest slowing down in a disagreement learning to identify when you're making leaps of logic. I don't really care what you're arguing about (though #affection was not a channel for debate/arguing anyhow) but when you're making up claims or changing what was said to argue with it, you're being both illogical and disrespectful and that can cause unneeded problems for everyone
involved. As for stalking? I'd suggest speaking to a profesional therapist, but depending on your occupation/country, I understand that can be rather difficult for some people. Being careful about self-diagnosis of things online, since most people who want to give advice (myself included) are not experts. It's why I refer to an expert. I had more than 2 people talk to me about concerns of stalking
or harassing, not wanting to make a fuss about it. A reminder that I did not ban you on that alone, even with the evidence, until seeing your behavior myself.
Both very well could be miscommunication. Communication is difficult. Mistakes can often happen from the sender, through the enviorment (like text) and to the reciver. Most often a combination of the 3.
But if multiple issues of miscommunication can be narrowed down to a singular source of those 3, then it becomes a prime target of focus for working on those issues. Just because it's miscommunication doesn't mean you can't improve your own ability of communication to help compensate for it. I myself used to be terrible at most forms of communication before it became a job requirement and I
learned, piece by piece, how to improve myself.
Ultimately, always placing blame on everything else just means you never improve yourself.
Tom
[19:37:28]
no i mean advice for a victum of cyberbullying and defamation
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:37:59]
Hm...
I have to head to bed here, but I'll post something before I do so, as that's a very good question to ask.
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:42:19]
A positive reputation/history of positive community building behavior helps protect against attempts to undermine. Matt (or "mst") of freenode(now libera chat) was repeatedly and regularly defamed by people who were banned from the networks (usually for spamming/bullying others or using botnets) but it rarely sticked because he regularly upheld his own sense of integrity and respect for others.
The more public you are with actions, the easier this becomes. Sometimes you simply have to block users and move on. Bullys seek attention, positive *or* negative. Feed them nothing and they grow bored, or desperate. Bored and they leave you alone (eventually the community, if enough people ignore/block them) desperate and they're more likely to do something more obviously rulebreaking, which
gets them more easily banned. Sometimes, some places are just going to be run by people who are power hungry. For such places, it's often better to leave and find another community or start your own. If the place really is a problem for a lot of people, then those people will want something new.
I would like to repeat, though, that I have *logs*. So if you're the one bullying others, even if you don't believe you are, that doesn't mean you arn't. Plenty of people regularly microaggress others, or worse, believing themselves innocent. If all these actions were in real space, I'd be suggesting restraining orders. Since that's not possible online, I'm doing the best I can to ensure peace
and comfort for people who are just trying to enjoy themselves safely online.
Tom
[19:44:03]
some bullies follow you around the internet to defame and destroy your character before you have a chance to build that
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:44:13]
Any examples?
Tom
[19:44:25]
me
right now
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:44:43]
I mean the actions. You keep asking me for logs, yet supply none of your own of other people.
Or names.
Tom
[19:46:06]
i don't know if your one of them
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:47:01]
Well, you have logs of everything I've said in this DM. I haven't mentioned you since in #affection since we last spoke, or any channel. And you could ask anyone about that. I can't imagine why everyone on the network would lie to a single person.
Tom
[19:47:24]
everyone on the network?
truewolves%wolf.furnet.org
[19:47:30]
To be honest, I've got more important things to worry about than someone I've banned when I'm not speaking to them.